It’s funny the things we’ve been conditioned to do. And you must be talking about Harbin Hot Springs?! I used to live in Petaluma. I never grew the “cajones” to go! 😆
YES! Omg, I’m so happy you know the place I’m talking about. I should totally dedicate a story to it.
My friend and I went because we saw “camping and natural hot springs” and completely missed the clothing optional part. Plus, when we got there, I had no idea that “clothing optional” meant mostly naked (with bathing suits being the optional part). I totally thought it was the other way around.
So imagine the shock when I got to the hot springs. But hey… when in Rome! 😅
It’s insane. I look at my little dog and her random assortment of body and facial (ear!) hair and try to imagine her feeling any shame about their colour or position. She would never! She thinks she’s perfect, just as she is. If only we could be allowed the luxury of the same loving acceptance of our body and facial hair.
I was JUST talking to my therapist about this the other day. The things we do for the male gaze and the cost of it is our time! Think how much physical and emotional time they save by not worrying about things like hair removal, nails, etc.
We are in tune, girl! Exactly. My question is: how much of it do we actually do for ourselves because it truly pleases us (and in that case, it’s worth the time and money), versus doing it for others?
Part of me is trying to figure out which beauty rituals I genuinely enjoy and are truly for me, and which ones I’m just performing: to conform, to belong, or to please someone else.
👯♀️ that's also where I'm at. What makes ME feel powerful vs what am I doing to "gain power" from others. We need to talk about this IRL - so many thoughts!
So relatable !!!! Although… on one point I am not quite sure. Yes sure, societal expectations in beauty standards have bulldozed women self perception and pressure to “look like” some whatever unachievable standard but.. I disagree that we don’t perform beauty rituals for ourselves :) I sometimes do, and I find it soothing. For me! (Thing this while looking at my feet calling for a pedi 😂)
Peyo, thanks for sharing your perspective! I love that you’re doing beauty rituals for yourself. I’m still struggling with that, to be honest. Sometimes I catch myself at the nail salon wondering: is having painted nails actually bringing me joy? Or am I doing it to look good for someone else, or so people think I have my shit together?
I’ve realized I do feel amazing when I get a massage, and that’s something I know is truly for me. I still have some soul-searching to do. 💅
Il bello della tua scrittura è che il racconto inizia con cura, morbido, fluente e divertente , in un esercizio stilistico e di memoria piacevolissimo, ma il bello viene alla fine, quando la profondità del pensiero che ti accompagna da sempre emerge in tutta la sua forza e l'emozione sale fino agli occhi...figlia adorata.
Hi from Colorado! 🪴 https://vibrationalbloom.substack.com/
Hi Jess! Love Colorado: so happy to have you here. 💛🏔️
It’s funny the things we’ve been conditioned to do. And you must be talking about Harbin Hot Springs?! I used to live in Petaluma. I never grew the “cajones” to go! 😆
YES! Omg, I’m so happy you know the place I’m talking about. I should totally dedicate a story to it.
My friend and I went because we saw “camping and natural hot springs” and completely missed the clothing optional part. Plus, when we got there, I had no idea that “clothing optional” meant mostly naked (with bathing suits being the optional part). I totally thought it was the other way around.
So imagine the shock when I got to the hot springs. But hey… when in Rome! 😅
You totally should! That is hysterical! Big surprise for sure. 😂
It’s insane. I look at my little dog and her random assortment of body and facial (ear!) hair and try to imagine her feeling any shame about their colour or position. She would never! She thinks she’s perfect, just as she is. If only we could be allowed the luxury of the same loving acceptance of our body and facial hair.
I was JUST talking to my therapist about this the other day. The things we do for the male gaze and the cost of it is our time! Think how much physical and emotional time they save by not worrying about things like hair removal, nails, etc.
We are in tune, girl! Exactly. My question is: how much of it do we actually do for ourselves because it truly pleases us (and in that case, it’s worth the time and money), versus doing it for others?
Part of me is trying to figure out which beauty rituals I genuinely enjoy and are truly for me, and which ones I’m just performing: to conform, to belong, or to please someone else.
👯♀️ that's also where I'm at. What makes ME feel powerful vs what am I doing to "gain power" from others. We need to talk about this IRL - so many thoughts!
100%! Would love to chat IRL. I’ll be in Waterloo for two weeks in May, hope to see you then!
So relatable !!!! Although… on one point I am not quite sure. Yes sure, societal expectations in beauty standards have bulldozed women self perception and pressure to “look like” some whatever unachievable standard but.. I disagree that we don’t perform beauty rituals for ourselves :) I sometimes do, and I find it soothing. For me! (Thing this while looking at my feet calling for a pedi 😂)
Peyo, thanks for sharing your perspective! I love that you’re doing beauty rituals for yourself. I’m still struggling with that, to be honest. Sometimes I catch myself at the nail salon wondering: is having painted nails actually bringing me joy? Or am I doing it to look good for someone else, or so people think I have my shit together?
I’ve realized I do feel amazing when I get a massage, and that’s something I know is truly for me. I still have some soul-searching to do. 💅
Il bello della tua scrittura è che il racconto inizia con cura, morbido, fluente e divertente , in un esercizio stilistico e di memoria piacevolissimo, ma il bello viene alla fine, quando la profondità del pensiero che ti accompagna da sempre emerge in tutta la sua forza e l'emozione sale fino agli occhi...figlia adorata.
Grazie mamma! Ero un po' indecisa se postare questa storia o no, ma sono contenta ti sia piaciuta <3
So many quotable moments in this story! I love how you’ve taken us on a vulnerable yet humorous story of your relationship to beauty standards.
Thank you, Lisa! Definitely a relationship that’s a work in progress, especially as I grow older!
So grateful for 30€ brazilian waxes here in Berlin 🙏🏼
Awww, thank you!