Simona, I really enjoyed this—it gave me so much to sit with. You put words to questions I’ve asked myself over and over, and your honesty made space for reflection in the best way.
That part about sorting your values hit especially hard. I've done similar exercises, and I remember the quiet panic of trying to narrow things down, knowing full well that what ends up in the discard pile often says just as much as what makes the cut.
So here’s what I want to offer—gently:
Pick a fourth card. Break the rules.
It’s clear Family still has a seat at the table. Maybe not in the form you were taught to value, but in a form that’s yours. That tension you feel? That’s not a mistake—it’s information. It’s a sign that Family still matters. Maybe just not in the top three today. Maybe tomorrow it’s #1.
The point isn’t the ranking. The point is the listening.
Frameworks are helpful, until they’re not. Sometimes what doesn’t fit is what we need to make room for.
You’re not the side character in this story. You’re the one building it, editing it, making the margins wide enough to hold everything that’s true.
It’s so true that what ends up in the discard pile says just as much about us as what we choose to keep. Learning more about ourselves can be both scary and eye-opening. And that’s what I’ve been trying to sit with.
This has been an experience of acceptance, recognizing where I am right now and learning to harness it. To understand it.
I also really appreciated your take on “breaking the rules.” SO TRUE. These frameworks need rules because they’re made to work for many people, but we have the right to say, this doesn’t quite fit me. And we don’t do that enough!
I do believe family is important to me, but maybe not in the way I was taught (like you said). I do believe that taking care of yourself helps you show up better for the people you love.
Breaking the rules in that way is relatively new to me, but as I've leaned into it, I've come to see so many rules as 'guidelines', and I've accepted that I've always been one of those kids who like to color outside the lines sometimes!
I think that for both of us, we're the first in our families who have broken generations of tradition and made our own way in a different country. I've come to see that there is sometimes a price to pay for doing that. I go home a lot, and I will find a part of me wishing that I hadn't been this wandering spirit, and that maybe I could/should have stayed closer to my family and friends. But then, I always find myself returning to the fact that this is who I am, and that I wouldn't have been content on that familiar path.
You are the Main Character in your life already (and a special one in mine), and this writing project of yours is a living proof of your voice having a voice :)
Loved the three values you selected although wtf.. I am sure that was a hard task.
And dear, you chose GROWTH.. it means you're down for the whole and never-ending ride, not only for the price! That's fabulous, and I am here for this.
Peyo, I was in tears when I read your comment. I can't tell you how much it means that you are with me in this wild ride of "giving voice to my voice". You are one of the most special characters in my story too, and one of the most inspiring women I know. Hehe, I just couldn’t put GROWTH away, it kept creeping up as a value I wasn’t willing to set aside. So yes, I guess I’m in for a whole lot of never-ending growth.
And I feel better knowing you'll be in my story no matter what.
Io mi commuovo Simo. Ci metto un po' a recuperare le tue scritture e ogni volta mi dico "queste sono le cose da leggere per prime"
Non vergognarti mai di voler essere indipendente.
Sento molto il "peso" di questa parola ma è anche il mio sogno più grande. Essere capace di stare in piedi da sola. In ogni ambito della vita.
La famiglia l'avrei scartata anche io, con lo stesso senso di colpa.
Ma poi, pensandoci...la famiglia c'è. A prescindere
C'è chi noi vogliamo che ci sia.
La famiglia sono altre persone, come può essere il valore di una persona?
Onestamente non la metterei neanche nel mazzo di carte, se deve creare colpe.
Io non so come si fa Simo, ma se me lo permetti, facciamo un pezzo di strada insieme perché la meta è la stessa.
Intanto ti ringrazio...perché non è un modo di dire: mi fai commuovere e capire quanto siano belli i nostri valori.
Simona, I really enjoyed this—it gave me so much to sit with. You put words to questions I’ve asked myself over and over, and your honesty made space for reflection in the best way.
That part about sorting your values hit especially hard. I've done similar exercises, and I remember the quiet panic of trying to narrow things down, knowing full well that what ends up in the discard pile often says just as much as what makes the cut.
So here’s what I want to offer—gently:
Pick a fourth card. Break the rules.
It’s clear Family still has a seat at the table. Maybe not in the form you were taught to value, but in a form that’s yours. That tension you feel? That’s not a mistake—it’s information. It’s a sign that Family still matters. Maybe just not in the top three today. Maybe tomorrow it’s #1.
The point isn’t the ranking. The point is the listening.
Frameworks are helpful, until they’re not. Sometimes what doesn’t fit is what we need to make room for.
You’re not the side character in this story. You’re the one building it, editing it, making the margins wide enough to hold everything that’s true.
Keep going.
Robert, I feel like you see me!
It’s so true that what ends up in the discard pile says just as much about us as what we choose to keep. Learning more about ourselves can be both scary and eye-opening. And that’s what I’ve been trying to sit with.
This has been an experience of acceptance, recognizing where I am right now and learning to harness it. To understand it.
I also really appreciated your take on “breaking the rules.” SO TRUE. These frameworks need rules because they’re made to work for many people, but we have the right to say, this doesn’t quite fit me. And we don’t do that enough!
I do believe family is important to me, but maybe not in the way I was taught (like you said). I do believe that taking care of yourself helps you show up better for the people you love.
Breaking the rules in that way is relatively new to me, but as I've leaned into it, I've come to see so many rules as 'guidelines', and I've accepted that I've always been one of those kids who like to color outside the lines sometimes!
I think that for both of us, we're the first in our families who have broken generations of tradition and made our own way in a different country. I've come to see that there is sometimes a price to pay for doing that. I go home a lot, and I will find a part of me wishing that I hadn't been this wandering spirit, and that maybe I could/should have stayed closer to my family and friends. But then, I always find myself returning to the fact that this is who I am, and that I wouldn't have been content on that familiar path.
You are the Main Character in your life already (and a special one in mine), and this writing project of yours is a living proof of your voice having a voice :)
Loved the three values you selected although wtf.. I am sure that was a hard task.
And dear, you chose GROWTH.. it means you're down for the whole and never-ending ride, not only for the price! That's fabulous, and I am here for this.
<3
Peyo, I was in tears when I read your comment. I can't tell you how much it means that you are with me in this wild ride of "giving voice to my voice". You are one of the most special characters in my story too, and one of the most inspiring women I know. Hehe, I just couldn’t put GROWTH away, it kept creeping up as a value I wasn’t willing to set aside. So yes, I guess I’m in for a whole lot of never-ending growth.
And I feel better knowing you'll be in my story no matter what.
Ti voglio bene amica.
🫶